The Facade of a Beautiful Person

I grew up the fat kid. This was something I loathed and came to terms with when I was young and compensated with humor and wit, being the Life of The Party to mask the fat rolls dominating under my oversized shirt. It is a difficult reality to realize you will never be able to go shirtless at the beach or making sure the lights are out when you have sex. That the tanned skinny people will in fact, continue to be your betters and run, in some levels, your life and wallow in the knowledge as an overweight person, never be invited into thier ranks. From early on, I was deemed The Beautiful People's Mascot. A clown. if you will, that gets access to the parties and gatherings for the simple reason I had an ability to make them laugh and giggle into thier protein shakes.
This was until I lost all my fat, went from a pudgy kid and morphed into a ripped, toned young man. I was on the otherside of the battlefield and it felt like a thousand orgasms. Suddenly, woman who would never even give me a second look, were giving me phone numbers and lo and behold, having sex with Me 2.0. The coolest feeling is when I shopped for new clothes and gone were the rags 3 sizes too big, to hide my body and replaced with tight fitted outfits. Soon, just picking up woman i the flesh wasn't enough and I joined an online dating site, tearing through each selection like I was obsessed. But isn't shopping online so much better than the real thing? A cyber catalog talior made for the asshole on the go. Who has time to schmooze a woman for hours in a bar when I could just toss a fake smile on the website and 15 minutes later set up a Meet and Eat? Yes, I officially treaded in the Asshole Ocean and rolled in the waves with pride and glee.
Then came the Revenge. Remember those woman who wouldn't give me a chance back in the Fat Days? Yeah, they were shocked when they saw Mr. New and Improved and I was rewarded for my hard work. Quickly I was submerging myself like a serial killer, my victims being the shallow females from yesteryear, and yes I saw the irony in this and didn't care. I was righteous and justified. Sure, I hated and despised those guys that ripped through woman, me being a romantic at heart and always believed a woman is to be treated with respect and care. But this was different, as I wasn't just another "player". No I was owed for the years of ridicule and being the punchline.
And then I gained weight and a whole new perspective on the Human Condition. Now I see the world with survivor's eyes. The Life of the Privledged is a short one and not to be coveted. The truth is it all goes away and when it does, all that is left is bitterness and envy. I for one, am glad I no longer look through Rose Colored Glasses because it is a life empty of The Long Happy. Yes, it is amazing to be seen as cutting edge and hot, but it is just smoke and mirrors. I still felt the social anxiety I has plaqued with as a fat kid. I still had trouble speaking to strangers and had to hype myself whenever I had to. The only difference was it was forgiven becasue I had abs.
The world is image obsessed and we have no chance of changing it. This is why "Diet" foods are more expensive than normal foods and trendy clothes are pricer than WalMart clothing line. If you want to be admired, you got to pay the piper and the price tag is a mortgage payment in Jackass-ville with a town motto, "No Fat Chicks". Seriously? I hope you all overdose on weight loss pills and energy drinks. In a perfect world, Spray On Tans would cause cancer. Put down the Quick Weight Loss products and pick up a Salinger novel and a slice of pie. Let go of what you think you should look like and peek deep into your soul and drudge up the Inner Fat Ass. It's 15 shades of awesome and I weep for those that are imprisioned by the status quo.
With that said, I'm off to the gym.
Hypocrisy is twice the taste at half the calories.